Well, I see a distinction between most sports golf, tennis, soccer, etc , in which the goal is to get a ball somewhere and MMA fighting, in which th goal really is to hurt another party until they give up. The former seems, to me, to be a pretty amazing feat of skill.
The latter still seems amazing, but also really really violent, and I'm not down with that in what my boyfriend does for a living. But if they never get to know the person then they have no clue. Well, I want a man who could defend himself.
But that's a hypothetical, and it's totally totally different from a guy who does fight, on a regular basis. There are often questions posed that go, "If we were out and somebody threatened you or me physically, would you find it hot if I fought it out with him? Here you are talking about instinct and primal urges. Humans evolved in such a way that it was clear that muscle was not important, intelligence was. So if you want to go the dubious evopsych route, you could say it's still instinctive to want your man to be able to talk his way out of a fight with a dumb ape.
Violence sickens me and I would have a really hard time knowing it's what you do all the time. I don't view it as me hurting someone else. I look at the incredible amount of skill and technique that is shown in every punch and kick. I look at the amazing ways that we can use our bodies, and the science behind fighting fascinates me.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done and being able to constantly challenge myself and see what I'm able to overcome is an amazing feeling. I was terrified the first time I walked to that cage and being able to overcome that fear made me a stronger person mentally and emotionally. When two people step into the cage it's not because we hate each other and want the other to suffer.
It's because we have worked hard and want to see how good we can be at the sport we love. When the cage door closes all the glamour and bull shit goes away.
Want to add to the discussion?
It's two fighters going head to head to see who's the best. Sure we get banged up in the process but when you push yourself through that pain and that fear and you come out on top, the feeling is indescribable. If you punch someone in the face and their face swells up, you are hurting them. That's scary to me. It increases the chances perhaps only in my head that you could punch me in the face. I would rather not date anyone for whom aggression is a regular part of their life. Childhood experiences have made it so that I react with anxiety when I see male aggression.
Plus, I'd rather not date someone who stands a good chance of getting seriously injured on a regular basis.
I assume that as the girlfriend of an MMA fighter, I would be expected to attend fights, hear about fights, etc. I also just, on principle, don't want to date someone for whom aggression is a big part of their life. I'd stick by my partner if he chose to become one. But I don't think I'd start dating someone who already was a fighter. My partner would love to become a pro fighter luckily he's entirely too unfit to do so at the moment.
Every time he says it, there's a twist in my gut. I know he'll never become one so I don't say anything negative. But it's still a scary thought.
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I can't even imagine the horror I would feel if I was Alan Belcher's gf and was watching that fight where it looked like his eye was just done - I was really on edge. I couldn't stomach you coming home so incredibly hurt and feeling helpless. When I hurt my back lifting my bf took it hard and I take it hard any time my bf hurts himself lifting.
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I think that woman has not got a good understanding of MMA or the culture that mostly goes with it. That's a little extreme. It's not like you beat people up for shits and giggles.
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She sounds like kind of a moron. It's not a deal breaker, but my hesitation to date people who are professional athletes, MMA, Soccer, Basketball, what have you, is that you can't excel to a professional level in your sport without sacrificing something. Usually that something is intellect. I couldn't date a stereotypical dumb jock. I'd totally fuck one, but I'd keep it light. So personally, I don't care if that's what you do. As long as you can hold a conversation and be interesting, I really don't mind. Plus the idea of bandaging a guy up after a fight has always been a weakness for me.
There are tons of great athletes out there who are extremely intelligent. Yes I've made sacrifices. I don't do things like drink, use drugs, eat junk food, and I spend hours in a gym everyday.
source site I don't understand how this makes me less of an intelligent person? What do you do with your time that makes you so intellectually superior to professional athletes? I did not say that. Sometimes they make other sacrifices other than education, and I know there are smart jocks. It's no problem, I've just gotten that a lot.
People hear that I fight for a living and assume I'm a dumb brute who doesn't know anything but fighting. There's the fact that getting punched in the head isn't good for the intellect, no matter how you look at it. A lot of incredibly intelligent people compete in MMA, but there is still a danger involved.
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I wouldn't have a problem with it. I was in martial arts for a long time and loved the fighting. Still love it to this day. I would not say "no" outright. I'm not so fazed by the career choice, as long as it doesn't get brought into the relationship violence-wise. I would have no problem with it but it would definitely be a learning experience for me. I wouldn't want to see my partner getting beat up but I know it's part of something that they enjoy. I would be warry of other things that are possible to go along with MMA fighters lots of aggression, propensity to have to show their masculinity, etc but a lot would depend on the person and how I get to know them.
I have a friend who fights and he's a great guy and is like an older brother to me. It's not an automatic dealbreaker, but would take some time for me to learn how it affects the relationship. I get what you are saying but you say that fighters may have a "propensity to have to show their masculinity" which I've found to be a common misconception. Myself as well as all of my friends most of whom are fighters feel no need to show our masculinity. Many men will use fighting as a way to prove that they are tough and manly, but we already know what we can do and have nothing to prove.